My 10-minute morning that belongs only to me
So, firstly, I do not wake up to an alarm most days. I believe that my body will wake up when I need to if I am getting enough rest.
My children are at an age where they wake up on their own and can get themselves ready for school. I usually wake up before the children. My husband is usually gone by 6:30 in the morning, and my normal waking time is around 7, 7:15 am. The kids don’t have to be up until 7:30, so the next 10-15 minutes are my time of peace. I use it to talk to God and focus on peace before I hit the ground running. On really early days, I may be able to stay in the bed for 30 minutes just focusing on peace and saying my morning prayer. I protect this time by planning the night before. I typically write out my schedule for the week on Sunday nights and check my schedule the night before to see if anything new has been added as this allows me to also alter what time I go to sleep in case I have to get up earlier than usual. For example, I write the schedule for the week on Sunday, but on Monday night I will check Tuesday’s schedule to see if something new was added to Tuesday’s schedule.
Protecting my morning window of quiet time may be one of the most quietly powerful things I have done for myself.
It started because I was losing myself by 7 AM
For a long time, my mornings belonged entirely to everyone else. I’d wake up and hit the ground running. I’d launch into the household: kids up, lunches packed, backpacks checked, everyone out the door. By the time I sat down a couple of hours later, whether at home or at my work desk, I already felt too busy and maybe even a bit resentful. Resentful that my time wasn’t my own.
What I actually do in those ten minutes
I pray. I read scripture. I think on positive things. The thinking on positive things takes work, I must admit. I’m usually in my bed as it’s easier to resist the temptation to clean or straighten something. My bladder usually doesn’t give me the whole ten minutes so I do use the bathroom and wash my face and brush my teeth while I’m in there. Then, it’s back to bed to finish my “positive morning moment.”
Most mornings, I look out of the window next to my bed and observe nature as I read somewhere that looking out into nature helps with stress reduction. There is no agenda. It is just ten minutes, or more depending on the day, of existing without performing or producing or responding.
That’s it. That’s the whole ritual.
Why something so small works
The ten minutes aren’t really about the ten minutes. They’re about the signal they send to my brain to relax. I tell clients who aren’t sleeping well to implement a nighttime routine. A morning routine is important as well. The morning should belong to you first.
I feel the difference most of the day when I skip my morning routine. Something feels off.
I feel the difference when I protect my morning. I feel more energetic and don’t have a weird feeling as though I forgot to do something. I sit down at my desk feeling like I chose to be there. The day still gets hard, but I started it in peace.
The one rule: No responding to notifications
This is the only rule I have for those ten minutes. No responding to notifications. This can be tough because I often read my scriptures off the bible app. I swipe them away if a notification comes in while I am reading, but I usually don’t get many that early in the morning.
The phone is where everyone else’s needs live. The moment I answer a notification, be it a text message or email, I’ve handed the morning over. An email pulls me into work mode. A news headline pulls me into research mode because I want to know more details than what one article is handing me. A text from a friend pulls me into chat mode. None of those things are bad, but none of them belong in my “positive morning moment.”
Everything in that phone will still be there later. It can wait.
How to find your version of this
Maybe ten minutes before anyone wakes up isn’t possible for you right now. Maybe your kids are at the age where they sense your consciousness and appear immediately. I’ve been there. It’s a beautiful stage, so enjoy it while they are still little. However, I am loving my quiet mornings of peace right now.
Your version of a “positive morning moment” could be five minutes in a locked bathroom. I have counseled many moms who excuse themselves to the bathroom to take a moment to destress. Your version might extend beyond the bedroom. It could be the drive to work before you turn on the radio. It might be the first five minutes at work before you open anything on your screen or during lunch breaks. The location and the length matter less than the intention. Remind yourself, “this moment is mine and I am not available to anyone in it.”
You don’t need an hour. You don’t need a perfect routine. You just need a sliver of the day that starts with you. You will hear me say this often, whether you are reading my blog, enrolled in a course, or a therapy client- self-care is not selfish.
I used to think self-care meant something big like a spa day, a trip out of town, a full night of sleep. Now, those things are wonderful when you can get them, but the quiet, daily version of caring for yourself is just as special. It can look like ten minutes with a cup of coffee before the world starts asking things of you. If you’re like me, it will look like a cup of tea.
I’d love to know, do you have a moment in the day that belongs only to you? Tell me in the comments. Come find me in a membership tier or one of my other services if you want more practical, real-life strategies for the busy mom or working mom who’s figuring it out.
Here’s to finding your ten minutes.